just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
