I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
