My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
