4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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