My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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