I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
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I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
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I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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