I wannas sexs uuuuu
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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