GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
