there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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