you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
