Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dick very happy bro
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
