): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
