dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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