i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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