So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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