Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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