My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
