I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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