i just had sex bonerless
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
