she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
