i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
