this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
