So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
