Got a toothbrush?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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