so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
