thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
