so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
