she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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