is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize