he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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