I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
