well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
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It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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