What did we do last night that was yellow?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there was a trapeze. enough said
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize