i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
