I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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