I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
