I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
