ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
