I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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