So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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