She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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