Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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