THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
