You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
