i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
