you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
