The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
