normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
that is very illegal...i love you.
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