they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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