I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
