How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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