She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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