thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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