oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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