Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize