my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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