i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
